*This post contains affiliate links. You can read my disclosure statement here.     I have just read, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal, by Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, and Marsha Means, MA.  I have to say, I’ve read a lot of helpful books in the last few years, but this one is by far the best one yet!  I really cannot recommend it more highly.  In fact,  I recommend this book not only to the spouses of sex/porn addicts, but also to anyone who is trying to understand or help those partners.  This book will offer so much insight intoRead More →

Sometimes life gets foggy.  For one reason or another stress piles up and it can become difficult to navigate or even find the path forward.  When that stress is a result of deep betrayal, especially when it has been repeated again and again, the fog is likely to gather all around our perceptions of ourselves.  Insecurity is almost inevitable.  It can become so very difficult to find truth when our thoughts are clouded by questions like: Who am I? Do I matter to anyone? What’s wrong with me? Am I worthless? Is there anything about me that’s likable? Am I ugly? Is there any purposeRead More →

Life is a series of seasons.  One thing I love about the Word of God is that it is relevant in each and every one of those seasons.  I love that it is living and active! I love that what I read today, God will use to meet me where I am today.  He will use it to speak to me each and every time I come earnestly seeking Him, each time I come listening. Several nights ago, Psalm 37 was part of my daily Bible reading plan and my goodness, did it ever speak to me!  Ever since that night I have been goingRead More →

Do you ever come across a song that seems to have been written just for you?  Or, do you ever turn the radio on and feel like God orchestrated the song that was playing right at that moment so that He could speak directly to you?  Those are the moments when God feels so near, so personal, aren’t they? This happened most recently for me with Skillet’s song, Stars from their latest album, Unleashed.  The very first time I heard it I was right in the thick of those dark months I wrote about here where I was questioning God’s love for me.  It wasRead More →

*This post contains affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure statement here. We’re working our way through a really great book in our family devotions.  It’s called The Story of the Bible, by Beverly Hubbard.  I highly recommend it.  Anyhow, tonight our reading covered the story of Joseph.  I’ve always been fascinated by Joseph’s story, but in recent years I feel like I’ve seen more and more each time I’ve read it that I just hadn’t ever noticed before. Isn’t that one of the most wonderful things about the Word of God?  It is alive!  I can spend the rest of my life readingRead More →

  “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8 My heart is so heavy right now, and this is all I can do – trust that my God is going ahead of me and that He will be with me and that He will never fail me or abandon me.  It’s just about all I’ve got right now. The Council My love moved out tonight.  After the council we received last week we have decided together that a short separation is in order. Read More →

Well, here we are.  My love and I are home after our “intensive” week of counseling.  It was a very long, exhausting week, but we learned a lot about ourselves and our relationship.  I will share much more in the weeks to come.  We are still processing much of the information, and we’re still finalizing our “treatment plans.” There is one thing I would like to go ahead and talk about that I had to face about myself this week: I am a control freak y’all! The Delusion It’s not like that was a giant revelation.  Of course, I already knew I had control issues. Read More →

I know it seems like a ridiculous question to many of you: “Does God really love me?”  You think, “of course he does, He died for you!”  I know.  I get it. But I have a feeling there are others (probably a lot of others) who totally get it.  I have a feeling there are quite a few of you out there who, like me, have wrestled with this question throughout your lives.  I’m not going to pretend the struggle has completely resolved. Likely, I will continue to fight those thoughts for as long as I live.  But over this past year God has revealedRead More →

When I wrote this post, I was believing God that this wasn’t the end of our story.  I was hoping and praying that there were many more chapters to come – wonderful chapters.  But this was the chapter we were in when I started this blog in January of 2017.  It was a chapter that started a little over 3 years earlier.  It was a terrible, painful, life altering chapter.  But God is faithful.  In all of the mess that was this chapter, His love shone through.  His sustaining power could be seen everywhere.  My hope was that His redemptive power would prevail.  That itRead More →

The slow fade is what I’m calling the part of our story in between the first five or six years of marriage and the years when we faced off with the monster that threatened to tear us apart.  These middle years were all over the place, filled with many highs and many lows.  It was during these years that I began to realize some of the realities of my love’s sexual addiction.  It was during these years that God began to teach me what unconditional love really looks like.  A Dream Dies There was no area in which that truth was more evident than inRead More →