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I know it seems like a ridiculous question to many of you: “Does God love me no matter what?”  For a lot of you the ability to accept God’s love for what it is doesn’t present any problems. You think, “Of course He loves you, He died for you!” 

But I have a feeling there are others (probably a lot of others) who totally get it.  My gut tells me there are quite a few of us who have wrestled with feeling unlovable for a lot of our lives.  I’m not going to pretend my own struggles in this area have completely resolved. Likely, I will continue to fight these feelings for as long as I live.  But in recent years God has revealed so much to me about His love. He’s helped me understand it in new ways, and I’m having a much easier time believing it is deep and unconditional and I finally KNOW God loves me personally. It is my hope that in sharing my story, you will find some encouragement so you can learn to believe in the truth of God’s love in your own.

Feeling Unlovable

Several years ago, when I first found out about some of my husband’s infidelities, I felt a lot of things.  The most overwhelming, though, was the feeling that there was something wrong with me.  I was feeling unlovable.  As is often the case, the details of my childhood contributed to these feelings and caused me to believe I was unloved. 

I would often wonder, if I had been better, or if I had done things that were more pleasing, would things have turned out differently?  So when I got married I resolved to pour all of myself into our marriage.  I was going to give it my very best and to love with my whole heart so I would never have to wonder, “what if I had just…”

And still, it wasn’t enough.

I would sit and wonder, “What is it?  What’s missing in me that causes the people who are supposed to love me to go another way?  What is it that makes them all choose other things?  Why isn’t my heart worth protecting? What makes me so unlovable?”

And then, that line of thinking would turn into questions about God. 

I would think about how the Bible says  God is like a good father who would never give the child He loves something bad when she was asking for something good. How it says He would never give her a stone when she asked for bread, for instance. Then I would think about all the time I had spent asking God for a healthy marriage that honors Him and brings glory to Him, and suddenly it sort of felt like God was giving me the proverbial stone! 

“Maybe He doesn’t really love me,” I would think. “Perhaps I’m NOT the child he loves.  Maybe I’m so messed up, SO unlovable that even God can’t love me.”

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This is how we know God loves us Scripture - "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

So DOES God Love Me No Matter What?

Friends, there just isn’t anything good that comes from thinking like that. Unfortunately, I went a lot deeper into the pit before deciding to surrender to truth. I listened to that crafty liar (the enemy of our souls) as he even used Scripture to tempt me to believe his lies.

For more months than I would like to admit I wallowed as I read my Bible, finding passages like Jeremiah 29:11, (you know, the one about God’s plans for us being to prosper and not to harm us?) and as I read them I would think, “Liar. (Yeah, I called God a liar and I’m still here! I’m so thankful I serve a God who is patient with me, and who is faithful even when I am not!)  How is this prospering me?  This is harming me!  Your plans for me are harming me.  There is no future and no hope for my marriage, You are a liar!”

If you think I felt unlovable before, I REALLY felt unlovable after talking to God like that! I have never been more miserable in all my life than I was during those terrible months!

However, despite the fact that I was questioning everything and acting like an obstinate child, (throwing a tantrum, and facing off with my Daddy) I never stopped reading the Bible during that time.  In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever spent more time in the Word than I did during those months.  I found myself in Job one day, considering what had happened there.

Job did nothing wrong. In fact, the Bible says he was blameless!  I’m certainly not blameless, but I found the phrasing comforting.  The terrible things that happened to Job  weren’t because there was something lacking in Job.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  God allowed Job to face the trials that he endured BECAUSE he was so righteous.  It was to prove that his faith was not circumstantial.  To prove that Job believed God because of who God is, not because of what God had given him.  It takes big faith to stand firm in the midst of trials like that and God had confidence in Job – the child He LOVED!

I was so encouraged by that thought!  Maybe… He loved me too?

How do I Know God Loves Me Personally?

Not too long after that I came across Romans 8:31-32:

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?  Since He did not spare even His own Son, but gave Him up for us all…

Do you see what I saw in that moment?  I jumped over and read the accounts of Jesus just before he went to the cross.  You know, when he was in the garden, praying.  He was asking His Father to take the cup of suffering from Him. To spare Him. My Lord and Savior was dreading the awful pain He was going to have to endure in order to accomplish the will of God and fulfill the plan.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have never doubted God’s love for Jesus.  I’ve doubted a lot of things, but I’ve never doubted that.  I’ve also never thought, even for a second, the pain Jesus endured on the cross was a result of anything wrong with Him.  He was perfect.  And yet, Romans says that God did not spare even Him from enduring the pain that would bring redemption to the world.

And yet, in the face of that pain, Jesus did not whine and moan. He didn’t doubt His Father’s love. He simply came to Him in humility and asked, “If it’s possible, find another way.” And then finished it off with, “But not my will, but Yours be done.”

Wow!  In that moment, I knew God was speaking right to me. He was showing me proof that trials and suffering are not indicators of His disfavor. It was such a tender and intimate moment. It reassured me that I really can know God loves me personally!

How could I not trust Him through my pain in light of that?

This is How We Know God Loves Us

You know the story of Peter walking on the water?  Do you remember what happened?  He looked at the waves and suddenly started to sink.  He took his eyes off Jesus and found his faith floundering.  Then, before he could sink beneath the water for good, he reached out, took the hand of his Savior, and was able to resurface.

I don’t really remember the exact moment when I reached out for His hand.  I wish I did.  But I know that as I contemplated those scriptures something in me finally broke.  Something in me grabbed a hold of the Truth of Scripture and looked the devil square in the face and said,

“No!  YOU are the liar! I am choosing to believe God.  He says in His word that He loves me.  He says that He is working ALL THINGS together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purposes.  I may not see how this is for my good right now, I may not understand what He’s doing, but I DO love Him, and I AM called according to His purposes.  So He IS working for my good!  The Bible says, ‘This is love: not that we loved God, but that HE LOVED US and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.’  This is how we know God loves us! I’m going to believe Him.  God DOES love me no matter what! He died for me.  Now get behind me Satan!”

BOOM! Drop the mic!

This is how we know God loves us Scripture - "This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

Why Does God Love Us?

At that moment, the change in my heart was palpable.  In the months that followed I began to hear God’s voice again when I read scripture, I began to feel His sustaining power in my situation.  I began to trust that whatever He was doing in my life, I could trust Him to provide whatever I needed not only to face it, but to thrive in spite of it.  What a difference it made!  My prayer life changed, my attitude towards my love changed, everything about me changed. I no longer felt defeated.  I felt empowered.  God loved me!!  Nothing else mattered.

And a few months later, when I found myself facing the horrifying betrayal of my love’s infidelities once again, I cried out to God in my brokenness with a new attitude. I looked to my loving Father and I cried, “Oh, God, why?  I just want someone to love me.  I want someone to CHOOSE me!”

And as tangibly as if He had spoken the words aloud my God called me by name, “Cherith, my dearly loved daughter,” He said,

 I chose you!”

My friend, if you know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, He has chosen you too! He died to save you, and from all the people on earth He has chosen to make you His own! This is how we Know God loves us, and no one and no thing can ever separate us from that love. It is secure, it is eternal, and it is without condition.

If you know Jesus Christ ans your personal Lord and Savior, He has chosen you from all the people on earth to be His very own. No one and nothing can separate you from that love! It is secure, eternal, and without condition! Click To Tweet

Let’s never forget it.

Let’s never doubt it

And when we’re feeling unlovable, let’s speak truth into those lies! How do I know God loves me personally? Because He gave His life to save mine. He took the punishment I deserved. I did nothing to earn it. So does God love me no matter what? You better believe He does!

How do I know God loves me personally? Because He gave His life to save mine. He took the punishment I deserved. I did nothing to earn it, so I must conclude that He does love me… no matter what. Click To Tweet


Do you ever wish SOMEONE would just choose YOU? My precious friend, GOD chose you! Declare this truth to yourself and the world every time you wear this t-shirt or hat!

**How about you? Do you struggle with feeling unlovable? Has God shown up, and demonstrated His love for you in a tangible way? Tell us your story in the comments. Or, if you’re still struggling, let us know, and we will pray with you!


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***Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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22 Comments

  1. Rita

    I must admit I did feel the pain reading it. you are very brave. The wonderful thing is the victory cry and the breakthrough in the end when you felt empowered. I always loved that part of Peter looking at the waves and Jesus lifting him up. Even in our weaknesses, He will lift us up. I pray for a total breakthrough for you, amen.

    • Esther Hosea

      Rita, thanks for your prayers! I should probably add an update to this one at some point. I wrote it about 2 months ago and God has worked so mightily in my life since then! I can’t speak for the rest of my life, but I can say, with extreme gratitude, that it has been a while since I felt even the slightest doubt about God’s love for me! He has been SO faithful and has loved me so well! I feel cherished by Him!

  2. Edith

    Wow, your openness here is so commendable! I also have been in situations where I have argued with God and questioned His word. It’s usually when a promise is taking too long to materialise.

    I love the fact that you burrowed into the Word during this experience. In the early 1990s, I began the practice of reading my Bible through once yearly and later graduated to twice yearly. It has given me so much stability in my faith. You can’t go very far away from God when you stay in the Word. The light will shine through somewhere in the midst of the darkness.

    And the Lord calling you by name and making that declaration at the end? Awesome! I guess that’s where your blog name comes from. I’m thrilled by your story. This is what it means to live the faith. May God continue to reveal Himself to you and give you the grace to share to bless others in Jesus’ name.

  3. Yolanda

    Thank you for sharing and being transparent with us. I believe it helps everyone that reads this. What I like most of what you did was you continued to read the Bible and have an ongoing conversation with God. He is Amazing! I believe the Holy Spirit in you allowed you to stand your ground and by reading the Bible you combatted satan with the Spiritual warfare weapons that God Blesses us all with. You are amazing for sharing that with us! God Bless!

  4. Fleda Bennie

    Wonderful post. I think everyone has felt this way at some point and I love how you showed your path out of it. Sometimes, we know we need to stop something but we can’t figure out how.

    • Cherith Peters

      Thanks Fleda! It is my prayer that through my story others might find hope and continue on in their pursuit of God. Of course, with or without me, He will continue to pursue each of us until the day we die, proving His love to each of us as He did to me!

  5. Angie

    Does God Love me no matter what even when I’m feeling unloveable? Yes! This is something I’m sure we ALL encounter at one time or another. I know have for certain. I Love how transparent you are in your writing. Being Vulnerable and putting ourselves out there is what speaks to people the most who are hurting and looking for help. Lovely Job.

  6. Tiffany Montgomery

    It does feel like that sometimes doesn’t it? When everything doesn’t turn out the way we dreamed it should have… especially when it’s in our Marriage because that relationship is so intimate… it’s easy to begin to question everything we thought we knew. But I love the way God turned it back to you and spoke HIs truth into the lie of feelings the enemy would love to drown us all in. You are absolutely right. We have to choose to believe God’s truth over the emotions and feelings that surface in trials. Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement… you are right – there are many of us in this with you!

    • Cherith Peters

      I am SO thankful for God’s pursuit. His faithfulness to me is staggering. I don’t deserve it, but I sure do praise Him for it! Thanks for stopping by and for the encouragement Tiffany! May God continue to bless you too!

  7. DONNA MILLER

    God’s love is persistant and unchanging. Nothing can ever separate me from His love, not even myself. I don’t always understand what the Lord is up to, but I can trust His heart behind it, and always know He wants His absolute best for me, always…

  8. Heather

    I can feel your heart when you went through that low time in your life. When I lost my daughter, I questioned everything I had believed in. I couldn’t believe my God, whom I loved and faithfully served, could possibly take my daughter. Numerous verses would come to mind and I also declared God a liar. However, just like you, God faithfully continued to speak to my heart and before long I began to believe again. I am thankful that you also believe and feel secure in God’s love. These stories are sometimes hard to tell, but we all need to hear that God loves us no matter what. Thank you for an encouraging post. Hugs to you!

    • Cherith Peters

      Thanks Heather! The loss of a child is definitely WAY up there on the list of faith rocking trials! I’m sorry you faced that, but trust that God used it to deepen your dependence on Him, and to give you another thing to look forward to in heaven.

  9. Rosevine Cottage Girls

    Cherith this is so beautiful. I think many of us doubt if God really loves us, especially in the wake heartbreak. You have done a wonderful job using your pain to point other’s experiencing this to the hope found in scripture.

    • Cherith Peters

      Thank-you! I’ve found a great deal of comfort in using the pain for His glory. It sort of puts a purpose to it. Not just a purpose, but a valuable, eternally significant purpose… and that somehow makes it more manageable. I am certainly thankful for the opportunity! Thanks for the encouragement friend!!!

  10. Pingback:Trusting God When Life Is Too Hard - Rosevine Cottage Girls

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