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Healing is Not Linear: Navigating the 3 Stages of Healing from Betrayal Trauma

Healing is not linear cover image

People far wiser than myself have named three stages to the process of healing from Betrayal Trauma, and as a survivor, I can definitely find pieces of my own story in each of those stages. But I’m here to tell you, the journey to healing is not linear. We won’t move through them in one direction or in a straight line. Instead, we’ll circle in and out and in between the three in no predictable manner, and with no assurance that we won’t go back again later. There have been days when I really believed myself much further down the path to healing than I have found myself on the next. If you’re healing from Betrayal Trauma, you’ll likely experience the same, and I want you to know, it’s okay! Not only is it okay, it’s expected, normal, and really even healthy!

Forgiveness & Redemption: How the Crucifixion and Resurrection Changed our Family – Part 2 

The Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus offered forgiveness and redemption for our sins, and totally changed the way our family was able to deal with my husband's sexual addiction & infidelities. Jesus changes everything! #hisdearlyloveddaughter #forgiveness #sexaddiction #affair #family #redemption #easter #goodfriday #thecross #heisalive

The crucifixion and the resurrection of Jesus Christ – Forgiveness & Redemption. The whole of Christianity hinges on those two events, and what they made possible. Yesterday marked the end of Holy Week with the celebration of Easter – Resurrection Sunday – so what better time to talk about how those two words – Forgiveness & Redemption – have impacted our little family this past year?

Forgiveness & Redemption: How the Crucifixion & Resurrection Changed our Family – Part 1 

The Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus offered forgiveness and redemption for our sins, and totally changed the way our family was able to deal with my husband's sexual addiction & infidelities. Jesus changes everything! #hisdearlyloveddaughter #forgiveness #sexaddiction #affair #family #redemption #easter #goodfriday #thecross #heisalive

The crucifixion and the resurrection of Jesus Christ – Forgiveness & Redemption. The whole of Christianity hinges on those two events, and what they made possible. Yesterday marked the beginning of Holy Week, so what better time to talk about how those two words – Forgiveness & Redemption – have impacted our little family in this past year?

Shattering their World – Why We Told our Kids About their Father’s Affairs 

After my husband's infidelities came into the open, we had to decide whether or not to tell our kids. It was a very difficult decision, but with God's help, we decided telling the truth was the best path forward. #hisdearlyloveddaughter #truth #parenting #marriage #infidelity #adultery #betrayal

I’ve been putting off writing about this part of our story for months. It’s one thing to tell you all about me and my love. We’re both adults who have mutually decided to share our story. But talking about our kids in depth is another thing. Like me, they didn’t ask to be thrown into this story. They’re victims of the terrible decisions of another. I want to protect them as much as possible. Still, deciding how to handle the family dynamics after intimate betrayal is a major problem that everyone in this situation has to navigate, and my readers have asked again and again for more information on why we decided to tell our kids, how we did it, and how they’ve handled it. So, here goes.

Becoming His Dearly Loved Daughter – One Year as Esther Hosea 

On February 6, 2017 I anxiously posted an announcement onto a social media page inviting the world to check out my blog. I was scared to death! I had registered my blog with WordPress on January 21st, just a few short weeks before. In those weeks I had been writing and learning like a whirlwind. The blog consisted of an “About Me” page, and a three-part series detailing “Our Story.” I also had two additional posts mostly ready to go. Nonetheless, I had no idea what I was doing. Little did I know what God had in store for the year to come!

Our Story Part IV – Something New 

Our Story Part 4 - Something New

I am so excited to be writing this post! When I started this blog almost one year ago, I had no idea where our story was headed. All I knew was that God was asking me to share it, so I did. I was scared to death. As 2016 ended and 2017 began, I was broken and hurting. I feared my marriage was over, that my husband was lost, and that I was worthless and disposable. I was the lowest I had ever been. It wasn’t much different for my love, or for our marriage. We were at our all-time low, and we had no idea what the future would hold. No idea… But as we ended Chapter 3 of Our Story, we clung to a verse:
Isaiah 43:18-19 – But forget all that – it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
We never would have guessed what God was up to! We’ve had front row seats to a real-life miracle, and we are in awe!

Finding Courage When God Opens Doors

When I was a child I always believed that I would end up on the mission field myself one day, but God hasn’t yet opened that door. Every time our church sent out a missions team I longed to be a part of it, but circumstances never allowed it. As our children grew that longing deepened, as I wanted so desperately to expose them to those same lessons I had learned as a child. But alas, the dream seemed impossible since I knew it was very unlikely to ever get my love to agree to go. I couldn’t seem to get him to catch my passion, no matter how hard I tried; no matter how hard I prayed. Trip after trip after trip passed us by.

Moses Taught My Love How to Be a Rockstar

Our Bible reading plan through those first few months took us through Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. (The story of Moses and the Israelites) If you’ve ever read them, you know these books can become somewhat difficult to get through. Once you get past the first half of Exodus there isn’t a whole lot of narrative, at least not in big chunks. Instead, there are seemingly endless lists of laws, regulations, instructions on how to build the tabernacle, instructions on how to divide the land, inventories of materials needed to build the tabernacle, genealogies, and other lengthy records. Meanwhile when sections of narrative do show up they can be exasperating as the people of Israel complain, argue, and disobey God time and time again. Of course, it’s Scripture, which means it’s inspired by God and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training. Never has that truth been more clear to me than in these past few months as my love has devoured these words of God and found beautiful lessons each and every day in some of the most unlikely places. What a joy it is to witness the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of someone you love!