I feel like I should start this post out with a giant disclaimer, because I really don’t feel qualified to write something so audacious so early in this process. It’s too soon to be able to tell if this is going to last, or even know for sure that it’s real. It’s too soon to claim any level of expertise.  I’m NOT an expert. I’m simply a student of the Word of God. As I walk this difficult road, I am looking to Him to show me truth, and I believe He’s led me to a passage that does exactly that.  Of course, I’m also a wife who is deeply in love withRead More →

I’ve hit a blogging milestone these past few weeks: My first extended bout of writer’s block. No matter what I’ve tried, when I sit down in front of my computer, I wind up just staring at the screen. No words have flown from the tips of my fingers as they usually do. There has been a deafening silence where there should be the clicking of keys. I’ve also been kinda down. Kinda really down, actually. I’m not sure which is the result of the other.  Do I have writer’s block because I’m down, or am I down because I have writer’s block? Who knows.  ButRead More →

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of finding truth and knowing who, what, when, why, and how to trust when recovering from intimate betrayal.  I’d like to examine Scripture together and go a little deeper into that topic, delving into the importance of confession in the pursuit of total honesty. I’ll also discuss some of the choices I’ve had to make as the spouse of an addict; the choices that face all spouses of addicts. It’s a long and difficult road to navigate! The world is full of advice; full of “answers.”   It can be confusing; almost paralyzing to weigh the options in pursuit of the “right” answers.  Thank God, He gives us His Word toRead More →

  Without question, one of the most difficult parts of recovering from intimate betrayal is learning how and when to start allowing trust to be rebuilt.  This becomes especially difficult when there have been multiple betrayals strung out over long periods of time, with periods of believed sobriety in between.  How can we ever know what’s true when life has been one huge lie after another?  How can we ever believe that the evidences of change are real this time when they’ve been nothing more than a mirage so many times before?  While things are going very well for us right now, I’d be lying if I said this isn’t still aRead More →

Psalms 139 is one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible.  It paints a beautiful picture of God’s tender, intimate care for each of us!  When we stop to consider who God is; how very great He is, it’s so humbling to then realize that He takes the time to know each of us so well.  Who am I that He would consider me?  Who am I that He would care about me?  My life is but a breath and yet He counts me worthy of His great love!  I am so thankful! O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything aboutRead More →

I’ve mentioned before that sometimes, when I can’t sleep, (particularly when my mind is racing) I’ll play a little game with myself.  It’s an attempt to focus my thoughts on God and thank Him for who He is.  At the same time, it slows my brain down or breaks a cycle of obsessive thinking.  The game (which my mom taught me years ago) is simple: I pray my way through the alphabet. Sometimes I’ll spend as much time as I can on each letter, thinking of as many different names/attributes as I can; and other times I’ll choose just one word for each letter. EitherRead More →

At the moment, my story is full of hope.  My love is seeking and following God and the Holy Spirit is doing a mighty work and making him new.  Our faithful God is healing me, He is healing our children, and He is restoring our unity.  I praise Him for all of this! But at the time that I first started this blog, that was not my story.  Our situation was as broken as it had ever been and I felt total hopelessness for our marriage, and frankly for my future.  I don’t ever want to forget how that felt because as God is bringingRead More →

  *This post contains affiliate links. You can read my disclosure statement, here. I have been sharing with you recently about the Anxiety and Depression that both my love and I have been dealing with.  I must admit, I have been skeptical in the past when I would hear people talking about either of those issues.  They have become such buzz words.  Over-used, over-diagnosed, and over-medicated.  At  least, that’s what I thought.  It just so happens that my best friend suffers greatly with a real-deal anxiety disorder and after walking through that with her, and seeing her several times in the throws of severe panicRead More →

*This post contains affiliate links. You can read my disclosure statement here.     I have just read, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal, by Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, and Marsha Means, MA.  I have to say, I’ve read a lot of helpful books in the last few years, but this one is by far the best one yet!  I really cannot recommend it more highly.  In fact,  I recommend this book not only to the spouses of sex/porn addicts, but also to anyone who is trying to understand or help those partners.  This book will offer so much insight intoRead More →

  Sometimes life gets foggy.  For one reason or another stress piles up and it can become difficult to navigate or even find the path forward.  When that stress is a result of deep betrayal, especially when it has been repeated again and again, the fog is likely to gather all around our perceptions of ourselves.  Insecurity is almost inevitable.  It can become so very difficult to find truth when our thoughts are clouded by questions like: Who am I? Do I matter to anyone? What’s wrong with me? Am I worthless? Is there anything about me that’s likable? Am I ugly? Is there anyRead More →