Thanksgiving Family Traditions Ideas for the Hard Times
Healing from Betrayal Trauma

Thanksgiving Family Traditions Ideas for the Hard Times

I love thanksgiving! It’s my favorite holiday. I look forward to our Thanksgiving family traditions more than any of the habits and rituals surrounding the other special family celebrations. But sometimes the holidays are hard, and when families are fractured by sin and addiction we don’t always feel like spending a day giving thanks. The thing is, these are often the most important times for us to make the choice to adjust our attitudes and cultivate a spirit of gratitude, not just in ourselves, but in our families!
So we’ve put together some fun ideas for thanksgiving family traditions that can be special anytime, but become even more important in the hard times.

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Taming the Tongue Cover Image
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Communicating God’s Way: Taming the Tongue

Is there anything more central to communicating God’s way than taming the tongue? I mean, if we could all somehow learn just to control what comes out of our mouths, being sure that every word was pleasing to God, and nothing more, I feel certain we’d see dramatic improvement in our communication both within our marriages and everywhere else! But alas, as our focus passage in James points out, the tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. We shoot its arrows with little regard for the damage that will be done. So how can we stop it? How can you learn to be careful with your words and surrender them to God? Or even to just keep your mouth shut? That’s what we’re going to try to figure out today.

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Communicating God's Way: Tell the Truth Cover Image
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Communicating God’s Way – Tell the Truth!

We’ve been studying what the Bible has to say about communication, and this week it’s all about how important it is that we all tell the truth. All the time. We need to be deeply committed, as the saying goes, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in our marital communication, and you better believe we’re going to need some help from God!

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Manipulation Tactics Part Two
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Common Manipulation (Gaslighting) Tactics and How to Respond- Part Two

We’re talking about what it means to communicate God’s way, and last week we talked about some of the most common ways we use manipulation (gaslighting) to mess this up. We all sometimes choose to play games rather than speak plainly and honestly, but as we discussed last time, there are some whose hearts are black with evil intentions bent on control rather than mutual respect and understanding. While the manipulation tactics we talked about last week are often employed even by those who wouldn’t fall into this category, this week’s tactics are far more indicative of a very serious problem.

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Manipulation Tactics Part One
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Common Manipulation Tactics and How to Respond to them – Part One

We can’t adequately cover the topic of communication in this series without addressing the ways in which we choose to manipulate and play games rather than speak plainly and honestly, or the times when we’re more interested in “winning” or controlling than in hearing and being heard. The reality is, I doubt there is a single one among us who has never been guilty of employing at least one of the manipulation tactics we’re going to discuss today, so we each need to carefully evaluate our own selves and bring our hearts into submission to God.
However, while we all fail to shoot straight some of the time, there are those who are so bent on control that communication has become nothing more than a way of exploiting the weaknesses of another in order to gain the upper hand in every conversation. Such people have no interest in hearing anything other than themselves, and don’t care to take the time to gently help others understand their perspective. They simply want to dominate. While we must be careful that we’re not guilty of manipulation in communication, if we’re married to a person like this, we also need to learn how to recognize these manipulation tactics and how to set up strong healthy boundaries around communication to avoid falling victim to these abusers.

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Our asinine tendency to presume and assume
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Communicating God’s Way – Our Asinine Tendency to Presume and Assume

We’ve been spending some time learning to communicate within our marriages according to the principles set forth in Scripture, and last time we learned all about the importance of listening. This week we’re expanding on that idea by talking about two practices we all tend to do that are major hindrances to good listening. We presume and assume. Like, a LOT! And you know what they say happens when we assume, don’t you? Well, let’s just say it’s asinine.

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Communicating God's Way: Learn to Listen
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Communicating God’s Way: Learn to Listen!

We’re learning to communicate God’s way as we work our way through a series intent on finding the areas in which we ruin marital communication, and re-aligning them with God’s desires. Today we’re going to discuss the importance of listening. Really listening. Not just to each other, but to God as well. Honestly, if we could all master just this one area of communication, what a difference it would make! But alas, we are a society that has forgotten how to listen. So, we must re-learn this lost virtue, and who better to learn from than our Creator?

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My "Persistent Widow's" Prayer
Our Story

My “Persistent Widow’s” Prayer

The Bible tells a story of a woman – a widow who persistently sought justice from an evil judge. Jesus encouraged us to approach our Heavenly Father with that same kind of persistence in prayer, knowing He will surely grant us justice – and quickly! This is the story of my own persistent prayer.

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Communicating God's Way: How to get rid of that pesky log in your eye
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Humility: How to Get Rid of that Log in Your Eye

Before we get into the specifics of communication, let’s prepare our hearts. It’s essential that our intentions as we proceed be in line with those of our Heavenly Father. This begins from a place of humility. It is only from there we can approach our spouse with any hope of improving our communication.
It’s human nature to read the kind of stuff we’re going to be addressing “for” someone else. Instead of taking the opportunity to honestly evaluate ourselves, we look for ammunition to load into the arsenal of judgement we’re building against our partners.
Friends, our goal is healing. The only person we have any power to heal is ourselves. So, with that in mind, let’s dive into our passage for this week.

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Communicating God's Way: How to Heal Broken Relationships by Applying Biblical Concepts to Marital Communication
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Communicating God’s Way Series Intro

Terrible communication is likely one of the most common roadblocks to healing in broken marriages. Unfortunately, we’re just really, really bad (like as a people) at communicating with each other. We’re selfish, we jump to conclusion, we’re rotten listeners, we assume and presume like nobody’s watching, we manipulate and lie, we spend all kinds of time looking at the faults of others while rarely looking inward to our own faults, and we’re just plain mean to each other. Often times, before we can even think of addressing the larger underlying issues in marriages, we have to first learn to start communicating according to the standards God has laid out for us in Scripture.

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Pornography & Marriage in a Millennial World Part 1 - Know Who You Are, Know why it Matters
Restoring a Broken Marriage

Pornography and Marriage in a Millennial World – Part One

It comes as no surprise to me that the world at large has turned a blind eye to the life-shattering dangers of pornography, but I was stunned to find that even among “moral” young people, there is an acceptance (albeit an uncomfortable one) of its presence and use in their homes. It is imperative we speak truth into their lives and alert them to the life-shattering dangers along that path!

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How Biblical Boundaries Put God in Control
Discovering Jehovah Rapha

How Biblical Boundaries Put God in Control

If you’ve been with us for the past 5 weeks, we’ve been working our way through a series on Biblical boundaries. We’ve learned a lot! Today, we’re finally going to wrap this series up with a quick reminder of who’s in control. What it’s so easy to forget in the midst of all the chaos of life is that being obedient to God in this area (really in any area) allows us to step out of the way and Him to do His work. It puts God in control!

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We've established that God wants us to have boundaries, but how do we actually set Biblical boundaries in our lives? Here are 5 steps, along with a free printable worksheet to help you set down some boundaries of your own. #hisdearlyloveddaughter #freeprintable #biblicalboundaries #godinthehardplaces #boundaries #marriage #affairrecovery #settingboundaries
Healing from Betrayal Trauma

How do I Set Biblical Boundaries? 5 Steps (with printable worksheet) to Get You Started. 

We’ve spent the past four weeks learning what the Bible has to say about boundaries. Now it’s time to take what we’ve learned and figure out how to practically apply it. Today, we’re answering the question, “How do I actually set Biblical boundaries?” It’s time to come up with a strategy for laying out our borders, building our fences, and installing our gates. In case you’ve missed the earlier parts of this series, here’s what we’ve been learning (it builds the foundation for what we’ll do today, so you might want to catch up!)

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Are you a betrayed wife who is fiercely committed to seeking and following God as you heal? Are you looking for a community of like-minded women also recovering from betrayal trauma? Would you like to join our secret Facebook support group? Connect with Cherith on Facebook, and send me a  private message to request to be added.
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