Accountability is a big topic. Do a quick google search, and you’ll find a whole lot of people are asking things like: What is personal
Upon the recommendation of our therapist, I started to read The Anxiety Cure, by Dr. Archibald Hart. It is the most helpful, informative, yet Biblically sound resource on this topic I’ve ever found. Reading it changed so much about how I think about Anxiety and Depression because it helped me to actually understand the physiological aspects. If you suspect that you or someone you know may suffer from Depression or an Anxiety Disorder, this book is for you!
Do I want to heal? It seems like the answer would be obvious doesn’t it? Of course, we all want to heal! But sadly, the hard truth is, it’s often easier to stay the victim forever than it is to own our part of the problem and choose our own healing. Let’s look at how Jesus dealt with a man stuck in “victim mentality” for guidance and answers.
Last week we started a series called Facing Fear. It is a Bible study on fear and faith, (click for whole series) and this week we’re learning about an interesting aspect of a right relationship with fear – the Fear of the Lord. We want to know, what IS the fear of the Lord, why is it important to fear God, and what does walking in the fear of the Lord look like?
FEAR. We all have the capacity to make it our constant companion. Chronic fear can paralyze us, keeping us stuck in misery and brokenness. This is never more true than in the aftermath of a shattered heart! When the world turns upside down, it can be difficult to figure out how to reconcile fear and faith.
There is a very important reality about addiction, lies, and relationships we need to address. When we’re active in our addiction, or even at the beginning stages of recovery, it can be difficult to understand why confession is SO important. The enemy tells us we’re protecting the people we love by not telling them what we’ve done, and that WE certainly are better off if we keep those secrets. As liars ourselves, we believe these lies pretty easily. But keeping secrets in a relationship shatters the foundation of trust needed for success. And as far as our own recovery is concerned, the consequences of telling lies are absolutely detrimental, dragging us back into the addiction again and again.
Last week we talked about the dangers of pornography in marriage from a Biblical perspective. This week let’s get informed about some of the facts surrounding this issue.
It comes as no surprise to me that the world at large has turned a blind eye to the life-shattering dangers of pornography, but I was stunned to find that even among “moral” young people, there is an acceptance (albeit an uncomfortable one) of its presence and use in their homes. It is imperative we speak truth into their lives and alert them to the life-shattering dangers along that path!
I hope you read last week’s post by my all-time favorite guest author, My Love! He shared the first two of four myths about recovery from sexual addiction, or, “lies sex addicts believe about recovery.” If you didn’t catch it, please go back and read it now. You really don’t want to miss it. Today he’ll finish up with the last two myths about recovery. We’re looking forward to many more posts from him in the future which you’ll now be able to find under the “For Him from My Love” category.
I spent decades of my life as a slave to sexual addiction, all along wanting out (on some level) and believing I could and would get out soon. Instead, it just spiraled further and further out of control until my whole world started to cave in around me. When God suddenly broke through and got ahold of me, He began to reveal lie after lie I’d spent far too long believing. Each of these “lies addicts tell themselves” kept me from fully embracing recovery. They kept me in the chains of sexual addiction.
For the past two weeks we’ve been digging into Galatians 5 to help us understand the quantifiable differences between a person who is living to please the Spirit – one who is repentant and in recovery, and one who is living to please the flesh – someone who is putting on a good show, but is still living in bondage to sin. More or less, we’re trying to understand the differences between the fruit of the Spirit and the fruit of the flesh.
last week we closely examined what the Bible calls the fruit of the flesh. These markers are the proof we can confidently believe when we question whether or not a person has truly repented, or whether they are still living a lie. So this week, we’ll look at the flip side of that. The fruit of the Spirit. These are the qualities that will be evident when recovery is real. When a person has genuinely surrendered to God the Holy Spirit takes up residence in his life and produces very visible fruit.
Last week we started dissecting Galatians 5 in order to understand the difference between a person who is truly in recovery, and one who is still living a lie. (The difference between the fruit of the Spirit, and the fruit of the flesh) It’s important we know how to tell the difference in order for us to be able to make wise decisions about how to move forward. The good news is, God will always equip those who are His to live in wisdom! He’s given us His Word, and He’s given us the Holy Spirit. We need only submit to their leading and He’ll show us the truth! Always.
When people we love are addicts, we want to believe they’re in recovery. When they tell us they’re clean, we want more than anything for it to be true. We look for reasons to believe things are different, because it’s what we hope so desperately is reality. Too often, we allow that desire to blind us to obvious signs that contradict the promises we’ve been given by the ones we love. Often, we’ve been burned so many times we begin to wonder if we can ever really know the difference. We might even wonder if true, lasting change is possible.
I’m here to tell you, it is! Not because I’ve experienced it (though I am experiencing it) but because the Bible says it is, and I believe the Bible. So, I’d like to walk us all through this difficult topic from a Biblical perspective. I’ll show you what it says, and demonstrate its truth with what I’ve seen in the past, what I’m seeing now; and why I think they’re very different.
Refusing to confess our sins leads to misery and defeat. On the other hand, a life lived in complete honesty – allowing sin and guilt to come out into the open – will be cleared of guilt, and will be rewarded with the joy that comes from being forgiven. The truth will set you free. The result is victory! How different the Christian life would be if we truly understood why confession is important; if we all had the humility to live it each and every day! Lord, humble me so that I will be quick to confess my sins and shortcomings and live in the victory You offer!
Are you a betrayed wife who is fiercely committed to seeking and following God as you heal? Are you looking for a community of like-minded women also recovering from betrayal trauma? Would you like to join our secret Facebook support group? Connect with Cherith on Facebook, and send me a private message to request to be added.
Or, contact me via email if you just need someone to talk to who understands and is committed to gently pointing you toward Jesus.