Yesterday I told you what our plan has looked like for the past 45 days and then I told you how God has been working in me to bring healing. Today I would like to tell you what God has been doing in my husband for the past month and half. You guys, I have been praying for this for so long and it is a joy to see all those prayers finally bearing some fruit!
Well, we’re halfway through the 90 day therapeutic separation. I thought it would be a good idea to give a little update because God has been doing some big stuff! We ended up changing a few of the parameters to the plan after about a week. I’d like to explain those changes and then get to telling you about some of those big ole mountains God has been moving.
A daily devotional feature which includes a different passage of Scripture along with a short encouragement designed to lift your healing heart with the Word of God each day.
I have just read, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal, by Barbara Steffens, PhD, LPCC, and Marsha Means, MA. I have to say, I’ve read a lot of helpful books in the last few years, but this one is by far the best one yet! I really cannot recommend it more highly. In fact, I recommend this book not only to the spouses of sex/porn addicts, but also to anyone who is trying to understand or help those partners. This book will offer so much insight into the trauma that the betrayed spouse deals with everyday. Both my love and I read it, and while it helped me immensely, I think the greatest value it offered was to my love. He has a very hard time with empathy in general, but this book really opened his eyes to my pain. It was a Godsend to us both!
Sometimes life gets foggy. For one reason or another stress piles up and it becomes difficult to navigate or even find the path forward. When that stress is a result of deep betrayal, especially when it has been repeated again and again, the fog is likely to gather all around our perceptions of ourselves. Insecurity is almost inevitable. It can become so very difficult to find truth when our thoughts are clouded by questions about our identity and worth. This is when it is so important that we find our answers in the TRUTH of the Word of God!
Several nights ago, Psalm 37 was part of my daily Bible reading plan and my goodness, did it ever speak to me! Ever since that night I have been going back to it, reading it, meditating on it, and praying these words over my life. God has used it to calm my anxious heart and reassure me of His presence, His loving care, His promises, His power, and His heart. Let’s walk through some of what He’s been teaching me.
Do you ever come across a song that seems to have been written just for you? Or, do you ever turn the radio on and feel like God orchestrated the song that was playing right at that moment so that He could speak directly to you? Those are the moments when God feels so near, so personal, aren’t they? This happened most recently for me with Skillet’s song, Stars from their latest album, Unleashed. The very first time I heard it I was right in the thick of those dark months I wrote about here where I was questioning God’s love for me. It was beautiful, and the words made me weep!
I’ve always been fascinated by Joseph’s story, but in recent years I feel like I’ve seen more and more each time I’ve read it that I just hadn’t ever noticed before. Isn’t that one of the most wonderful things about the Word of God? It is alive! I can spend the rest of my life reading the same stories over and over again and I will find something new, something relevant to where I am at that moment each time! Here are a few things that about 30 years of reading the story of Joseph have taught me.
As our story continued, we decided a therapeutic separation would serve us well in our journey to healing. In this very raw post, I poured my heart out on the night my husband moved out. I had no idea what was going to come next. But God…
God helped me realize that I am not in control of my husband’s recovery. It’s out of my hands. I have to surrender to Him and trust my love into His care.