How it All Started – The First “About Me” Post at HDLD Ministries

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***EDIT – This was the original about me page here at His Deraly Loved Daughter Ministries. It’s the first post I wrote back in January of 2017. A lot has changed since then. For one thing, I don’t use the name Esther Hosea anymore, and get to write under my real name instead. But more importantly, God has done amazing things in us as individuals and in our marriage over the years, not to mention how He has used this little ministry! If you’d like to read the current about me section, you can find it here: About HDLD Ministries.


January, 2017

Welcome to His Dearly Loved Daughter, I’m so glad you’re here!  I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you a few things about me.  My story is not unique. It is the story of countless women all over the world and throughout time. Perhaps it’s your story too.  I struggle to find my identity in a God who loves me passionately as I live my life loving a husband who has broken my heart over and over again in his battles to break free from sexual addiction.

This particular story is so isolating. If it is your story too then we need each other. We need to know we aren’t alone.  To remind each other of God’s love and faithfulness because it’s easy to lose sight of when people are so unfaithful. If you are His daughter, dear sister, then you are DEARLY LOVED! Cling to that truth – it is the lifeblood that will get you through this battle and the next and that ultimately lets us all know, the war has already been won!

We need to know we aren't alone.  To remind each other of God's love and faithfulness because it's easy to lose sight of when people are so unfaithful. If you are His daughter, dear sister, then you are DEARLY LOVED! Click To Tweet

I am not an expert. I’m not coming to you as someone who has already won this war. I’m right in the thick of it.  As I write this, it has only been a month since I  caught my love in his most recent affair.  I’m not here to tell you what to do, I’m here to walk this painful road WITH you!  I’m here to share my story in hopes that it will be an encouragement to you.

I could be anyone.  We never really know what the person next to us is carrying!  That’s why I’ve chosen to write this blog anonymously.  While it is our true story, it really could be anyone’s story and I don’t want it to be about me or my love. I want it to be about the God who sustains.  The loving Father who carries me through and who can carry you through as well. It really is all about Him. I am simply the daughter He dearly loves!

I want our story to be about the God who sustains – the loving Father who carries me through and who can carry you through as well. It really is all about Him. I am simply the daughter He dearly loves! Click To Tweet

Finally, let me close by telling you a little bit about the name I chose to write under: Esther Hosea.

Hosea was an amazing man, called by God to love an unfaithful spouse in order to demonstrate to a nation that God loves and pursues His people despite their tendency to wander. The story reminds me that the pain I feel each time I am betrayed is felt by my Heavenly Father each time I wander from His perfect love.  Still,  He continues to pursue me and to love me. It inspires me to do the same.

Esther was just a regular young woman who found herself in the middle of a story that just didn’t make any sense to her.  It was a story that required great courage and unwavering trust in God’s sovereign plan.  It was a story that demanded obedience without the promise of a happy ending for her. In fact, that obedience could have cost her life!  Yet Esther chose to recognize that, as her wise uncle put it, perhaps she had been created for such a time as this. God doesn’t make mistakes.  He has put each of us in the story we’re in.  The pain isn’t His doing, it is the result of sin, but He knew about the pain and He has a purpose and a plan.  I want to be bold, courageous, and obedient like Esther and Hosea and recognize that perhaps God created me for exactly this story and to trust that the ending He has written will bring glory to His mighty name!  Won’t you join me?

If you’d like to get to know me and my love a little better before you explore some of my other posts, I recommend starting with Our Story.


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8 thoughts on “How it All Started – The First “About Me” Post at HDLD Ministries”

  1. Dear Esther
    Thank you so much for your ministry. It is inspiring to me as you walk in obedience to what you feel God is asking of you, and in the Truth of scripture. Your words have touched my heart and encouraged me not to give up on my love. This is a really difficult time for me to be saying this because he moved out last December and has completely shut me out of his life emotionally. We can barely hold a conversation and he usually can’t wait to leave my presence. The only reasons why we talk at all is because of the children we share and money. Yet I feel that God has called me not to let go of him, and not to push him away. He wants a divorce and I don’t, even after he confesses that he struggles with pornography and had a two year affair with a friend of mine (which is possibly still going on). I am desperately concerned for his salvation and so sad about the route he has chosen for his life. I cry out to God on a daily basis for him. A year later since the news of his addiction and affair broke, I am still waiting for a miracle. I know God is able and He hates what my husband is doing to our family, and I expect that change is on the horizon. I live by faith in God’s character, knowing how much He loves me, and having experienced so much of His grace in my life. Thank you for sharing your story and for continuing to persevere through your painful trials. May God bless you richly. X

  2. Oh Jo, I am so sorry for what you are going through! How heartbreaking! Thank-you for your encouraging words, I am so humbled that God chooses to use me. I am praying for you and your husband right now, and believing with you that God is going to do great and mighty things for you as you continue to trust Him and love Him! Feel free to email me anytime @ [email protected] if you need a friend as you walk this painful road. God bless!

  3. Dear Esther, Your posts make my heart full. I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog recently. You write so beautifully and it is evident that God is leading you to help other women and encourage them. I too am walking this difficult journey of betrayal trauma. After 10 months, I am now seeing God’s beauty in all this mess. Bless you sister and keep shining! I will be praying for you and your ministry. XO

  4. Dear Esther,Your story has encouraged me greatly and I believe the Lord has lovingly guided me to your writings. In fact, before I came across your words I heard – I have raised you for a time such as this – Your words confirmed that we , as sisters in Christ, are being called to stand in the gap for our husbands. Thank you dearly, as I now have such comfort and renewed strength. Blessings,

    1. Praise the Lord, Anna! I am humbled by His choice to work through me all the time, but so thankful that He does! May He bless you as you follow Him in obedience!

  5. Is there no other way to cling on God and not worrying about our spouses no matter how they are! It’s hard to walk in faith as the suffering goes on for a long time..I wish not to give up but it definitely makes me weaker

    1. Ruth, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It really is SO hard, and has the potential to destroy us. But clinging to God and committing to seeking His will in our situations – surrendering ourselves to obedience no matter what He asks brings great peace. And understanding who we are in Him makes it all bearable! Please look around this site a little. There are a lot of posts to help you find all the treasures God’s Word has for us on this difficult journey.

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